“You take our failure. You take our weakness. You set Your treasure in jars of clay. So take this heart, Lord. I’ll be Your vessel. The world to see Your love in me.”

“broken vessels” -Hillsong united

If you have never heard this song, I encourage you to go listen to it right now!! Its such a great reminder of Gods love for us and how He restores broken into life.

It reminds me of when I was once broken. When I was once lost. I was once a prisoner of my sinful desires. A prisoner of my eating disorder, prisoner of my mind, and shackled down by the lies the devil fed to me.  The nights I would stay awake wondering why I had to feel this way, why I had to feel this defeated, and why I had to be on this earth. What was my purpose? Did I even have one? I will never forget those days. As hard as it is to even think back on them, I never want to forget how I felt that year of my life. That year prepared me for who I am today! Not only am I healed from a disorder that once had defeated and destroyed me, but I have now learned that I’m a daughter of the King. Who is worthy not from what the world says about me but what Gods word say about me!

Where am I today?

I think a lot of times we see that God changes lives and works miracles on others but we forget that just because change has been made doesn’t mean struggles aren’t still active in our life.

I read an article the other day about how we have no idea how difficult it can be to be a pastor. It was explaining that we pretend that pastors are these perfect saints but they are actually just like me and you. They are human, they mess up, they make mistakes, they get mad, they get sad, they get tempted, and here’s the shocker, THEY SIN!

This was my problem for awhile and actually who am I kidding, this is still my problem. Going into ministry I expected that everyone in ministry was perfect and just the “perfect Christians.” I told myself I had to be perfect and never sin. Well, I soon realized that I wasn’t perfect. I beat myself up at the smallest things and I started to listen to the devils lies that I’m not good enough for ministry. I’m tested all the time, I’m tempted every day, and I will fail sometimes.

I’m admitting to all of the world that I’m a sinner! I’m admitting that I fall into temptations some days. I’m admitting that sometimes I’m so tired and feel like I’m spiritually empty! I’m admitting today that I am an 18 year old girl who has been called to ministry and I sin just like you who is reading this!! Its 2:00 in the morning and I’m up because the devil is trying to feed me his lies once again.

If you are reading this blog then please understand that God wants you to hear this, Whether you are someone who hardly goes to church or you attened church every sunday, or you are a pastor or you don’t even know where you are going in life. Yes, you are a sinner, but your sin makes you no less worthy of Gods calling on your life! Did you hear that? You are more than the lies the devil is feeding you. You are greater than the temptation the enemy is placing in front of you! You know why? Because your faith is not defined by that failure or that sin but its defined by how you get back up from it!

Clayton Jennings said that,  “When you slip up and trip up you are not defined by your failures but defined by how many times you get back up and follow him.”

Wow! Just take that in. Every time we fall short, sin, fall into temptation, mess up, guess whos there? Jesus and hes ready to forgive you, love you, and equip you!

I encourage all of you reading to continue to get back up! Continue to follow him! Continue to be in prayer and in His word daily! Continue to share His love! Continue to be the light in this dark world! Guard your hearts, your mind, and your soul!

I love all of you & please leave me some feedback! Thank you for reading!

” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:37-39