When I was a little girl, I always wanted to be something that people would all like, something that everyone would think was “cool”, something that people would say awesome things about and I guess something that people would be proud of. I wanted to be many things. Back in elementary I wanted to be a teacher & I obsessed over it a little bit because I wanted to be one so very bad. In junior high I wanted to be a counselor and then soon wanted to be an oncologist nurse. When highschool came around I obsessed over criminal minds (& still do). I wanted to be a profiler in the FBI. That’s exactly what I thought was my calling in life. Looking back I guess I always wanted to help people.
All these things were apart of me. Little by little they defined who I was going to become one day and what my Intrests were. Whether it was teaching or being in the FBI, I was gonna help people one day. I loved helping people and loved when people helped me so I think it was more of a giving back to the world type deal.
I was dead set on being in the FBI, I wanted to do an intern in Quantico in the summer. My major was going to be criminology. This was my calling I thought. It was so interesting and cmon how cool is a girl FBI agent???? I was so excited to see what I would do with this career and the places I would go and see but oh man, doesn’t God have a crazy way of changing our plans?
When I became sick, my life became spirling out of control. Everything was negative around me so I became negative as can be. Everything was turning into dark in my life and evil was overpowering me. I wasn’t proud of who I was and was ashamed of the life I was living. Until I realized who my healer was, Jesus. I soon became soaked into his word and wanted to be surrounded by people who were Christ like and loved the same things I did. It’s crazy how God will change your desires in life after you devote to Him. You will no more want that thing that your addicted to or that thing that numbs your pain but you will want the word and his truth and that is the real healing pill or drug!!
One day, I was at church and my youth pastor Chris Hurst, was speaking on the subject of changing this generation and I thought to myself, “what if God wanted me to do this, what if he wanted me to lead people to Christ” ? & I just thought about it but then just pushed the thought away because no, I was suppose to be an FBI agent not that. Right?? It became a constant thought in my head and then one day I realized that God is calling me to ministry!! Me? Out of all people? Look at the mess I left behind me? Look at all my sins? How was a girl like me suppose to lead others to Christ and preach about this? But then I remembered that I’m a child of God just like you. I am forgiven and I am worthy! We are all on this earth to spread the good news whatever your career is.
I had my plans all set out and God quickly changed that and reminded me that his plan is greater than mine & isn’t that the truth!! I now try not to set plans ahead for ministry because wherever God leads me is where I belong!! God will come into your life and shape you into someone you never knew you could become but oh man its worth it!!
Put your faith in him and believe in yourself! There is no telling where he will lead you!!!
God is good, all the time!!