If only you knew what God had in store for you.

If only you knew that starving yourself is only killing yourself and is not helping you become “worthy”

If only you knew that bashing other girls because of your low self esteem is only making you feel worse about yourself.

If only you knew that your worth is not defined by a number on a scale.

If only you knew that telling yourself that you are fat, ugly, and worthless isn’t helping you “push” yourself to your goals but only ruining you little by little.

If only you knew that you are more than those thoughts in your head.

If only you knew that you are more then what a man thinks of you.

If only you knew that the only way you find your worth is through God and not these earthly things.

If only you knew that losing weight won’t help you feel better about yourself.

If only you knew that throwing up your food is only going to kill you one day.

If only you knew your self worth and value.

I know you feel like the world is crashing down on you, I know you feel like you won’t ever get better. I know you feel like you can’t stop throwing up or you can’t stop thinking these negative thoughts about yourself. I know that you are worn out, I know you are hurting and you want out. I know you are exhausted from these thoughts and your body just is so tired from this abuse. I know you are asking yourself ” why me” “why me God “? I know that you cry at night and sometimes cry yourself to sleep because you are sick and you want to get better. I know you have good intentions but you are just sick. 

You just want to be like them. You want to be like the girls who can eat whatever they want and not gain a pound. You want to wear a swim suit and take pictures and look like them. You want to wear that crop top and look thin. You want to go out and do what they get to do but you hold yourself back because you can’t do that because you aren’t “pretty enough” you aren’t “skinny” enough or you aren’t “worthy enough”. But one day you will get there right? Until you look up one day and you look in the mirror and see a girl who is lost, broken, and sick. You feel like you are damaged goods. You feel that at this point what guy would ever want a girl who has this much baggage? Who could ever love me if I don’t love myself.. You are ready to give up, you just feel so weak and like you can’t live another day with this pain. 

Please please please understand that you can. I am living proof of this. You aren’t damaged goods! You can be healed, you can be happy again, you can love yourself one day, you can look in the mirror and smile because you know that you overcame this awful disorder, God did!! You can love your body again! You can love every roll, cellulite, freckle, or break out!! It is possible!! I love my body! I have rolls when I sit down , I get bloated when I eat, I eat cake and I don’t think about throwing it up! I enjoy eating those things now! I am healed!! I am renewed because I was where you were at one point, I felt everything you are feeling & today I now smile when I look in the mirror! I go days without working out without having anxiety or a bad tought!! Whether you are poteet and tiny, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL & WORTHY! Whether you are thick & curvy, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WORTHY!! 

We have to make a stop to what society tells us because your worth is not defined on whether you have abs, or if you have a flat stomach, or if you are under a certain size!! NO NO NO!! Your worth is found in Jesus not what society tells us!!!

Push away those thoughts, push away what the devil says about you because our God empowers!! He can overcome any fear of yours but you have to surrender your life to him and lay it all at his feet. You are either all in or all out! Make this move because this is the only way to be healed!

If only you knew how worthy you are!

If only you knew what is yet to come!

If only you knew that recovery is possible!

You can turn your past into a purpose. Don’t give up, I know you want to but there is good days to come but you have to put in the work. Keep fighting, keep pushing!! Life after this is a life everyone should experience! 

If this is you, men or women, boy or girl. Please do not be afraid to step out and tell someone. Feel free to contact me at ryleetaylor11@yahoo.com!! Please do not be afraid because fear is what will destroy you. Choose faith over fear!! 

Keep fighting my little warriors, it’s worth it!!