For a long time of my life I thought that I was defined by whether I was getting attention from boys. I thought that my worth was found in whether guys liked me. I thought my happiness was built upon whether I was loved by a guy. I desired to be loved by someone who respected me. I wanted a fairytale ending. I dreamed to have a guy like all the love movies you watch now days.
I built my worth on this illusion that I wasn’t worthy unless I was loved by a guy. I soon realized how temporary this was, I realized that people will fail you in many ways & when you build your happiness in this, you will always be let down. I dealt with this before my eating disorder, during, & still struggled with this through my recovery. I let the devil feed me lies that I’ll never be loved because of my past & my disorder. I let the devil tell me that I had to earn a mans love to be valuable in life.
Yes, I am admitting this & yes, I’m going to post this for everyone to read. I know this seems like something to be ashamed of & somerhing to be embarrassed by but I know that I’m not the only girl or woman who has felt this way. Actually, some of you reading are struggling with this and it’s lead you to a path of destruction.
If we don’t look for a man who seeks Jesus in everything we do then how do we expect to be loved and respected because God is love. If you aren’t seeking after the Lord in all you do then how do you expect to find a man who loves you? We have our hearts wrapped around this idea that society tells us that it’s all about the physical attraction. I’m sorry but if they aren’t seeking after Jesus & love him then that will fail you and it is nothing but a temporary life you are living.
We all want to be accepted and loved, don’t we ? Well why are we trying to find our acceptance and love in men and trying to earn that from them? When Jesus loves and accepts us and we did nothing to earn or deserve it!!
I’ve lived this temporary life for a very long time & it did nothing but hurt me. Even through my recovery when I was learning to love myself all over again through Gods truth, I still struggled with this. I actually still struggled with this till about a week ago when it all clicked.
I have been so focused on these lies the devil feeds me about men that I haven’t even thought about the truth Gods word is feeding to me. The truth that I am loved by a Creator who unconditionally loves me and I did nothing for this love, I actually do not deserve even the tiniest bit of it but because Jesus died for us, everyday we get to be loved by someone FAR greater than any person on this earth! Jesus desires for us to love Him. He payed the ultimate sacrifice for us but yet we still desire to be loved by a man & build our worth around that!!
If you think that in order to love yourself, you need a man to love you, you are miserably wrong!! I know you think that you need someone to “save you” like the fairytale movies but stop trying to be saved by a man & let Jesus save you!!
Turn your focus off of being loved by a man & turn it into falling in love with God & his truth he has for you! I promise you will never regret it!