Recovery is such a joyful thing. It’s just a positive thing that only God & you can do together. My recovery is so meaningful to me. It’s a huge part of my life and my recovery is apart of who I am. It’s lead me to ministry. It’s lead me to an internship at Crossroads. It’s lead me to this blog. It’s done more good for my life then when I thought it damaged me. 

Recovery has its days, some days the devil tempts me into thinking that my worth is defined by society or what society says. Some days thoughts flood my head with negative and ugly thoughts about myself. I sometimes don’t want to look in the mirror because I’m afraid I’ll think of myself in a negative way. 

With recovery, I’ve learned that I’m not defined by my bad days.

Im not defined by who I once was 

I’m not defined by the number on the scale

I’m not defined by the thoughts in my head

I’m not defined by what society tells me I have to look like.

I’m not defined by the image in the mirror 

I’m not defined by what the world says

But I am defined by the love I spread in this world

I am defined by what my Heavenly Father says about me

I am defined by how I spread the news of Jesus.

I am defined by my inner self.

I am defined by God!!

Beauty isn’t defined by what you see. Beauty isn’t defined by how skinny she is or pretty she is. Beauty is defined by kindness, confidence, loyalty, love, and our beauty is found in Christ! 

I use to always wonder why I had to go through this. I didn’t want to be in recovery, I was tired of hurting & tired of fighting this battle. I wanted to be normal, I wanted to wake up and not worry about this battle but the thing is, 

you have to learn to accept this battle! Embrace this disorder! 

You can’t take this away. I will be in recovery for the rest of my life and I’m okay with that!! 

I’ve learned a lot these past 7 months. Friday, May 6th will be 7 months of recovery!! I’m very proud to say this but this isn’t a Rylee thing but a God thing!! 

The past 7 months has been a journey. I’ve lost people in my life and gained people. I’ve been through some heartache but also MANY proud moments. I’ve found my true identity. My identity found in Christ!! Out of all these things, I’ve found a relationship with God. My eating disorder has lead me to the person I am today & for that I’m thankful. 

You see, when I say this is a God thing, I mean it. This is something God & I overcame hand in hand. No doctor healed me, no counselor healed me, no pill or potion healed me, nothing but Christ healed me. I’m sorry if I offend anyone and I’m not trying to but there is nothing in this world that can heal you but God! Absolutely nothing!  

Today I was listening to a song called, When mercy found me by Rhett walker band. This somg reminds me of how Gods overflowing grace has renewed my heart, soul, mind, and life this past 8 weeks. These few sentences give me the chills every time, 

“And in one moment everything changed, Who I was got washed away, When mercy found me” 

Everything changes when you lay everything at his feet, the day I gave my life and disorder to the Lord was the day my chains and shackles were set free. I was made new in Christ. 

This can happen to you. You can be set free. Keep fighting this battle! Lay everything down at his feet. He will provide and take care of you. 

I use to hate who I was. I use to think I was ugly. I thought I was fat. I thought I was worthless but I am Worthy and more than enough. Beauty isn’t a size or a face. Love yourself, love every wrinkle, roll, cellulite, dimple, freckle, love every flaw!!! 

God made you in his image!! He set you apart and created you for his divine purpose. I challenge you to find that reason. 

Thank y’all for reading all my blogs!! I love y’all!!